those who enjoy abusive lover, the question is, to leave or not to leave?
The Rip (2008), is a song from Portishead of their album “Third”.
The song is written by band members Geoff Barrow, Beth Gibbons, Adrian Utley. Beth is the singer.
As she walks in the room Scented and tall Hesitating once more And as I take on myself And the bitterness I felt I realise that love flows Wild, white horses They will take me away And the tenderness I feel Will send the dark underneath Will I follow? Through the glory of life I will scatter on the floor Disappointed and sore And in my thoughts I have bled For the riddles I've been fed Another lie moves over
Mull over the lyrics. The song, as i discovered this week with Sleeves Rhode, has personal meanings.
So, i was chatting with Sleeves, a girl i imagined to be my love, who is unwilling or unable. We've kinda dated, spent about 4 hours or so daily chatting in Second Life for the past about 2 or 3 years.
Among our love, is Portishead's songs, in particular, we love Road and Wandering Stars. She's kinda mentally unstable. For example, she told me that when she was teen, she committed suicide (unsuccessfully) while listened to the song Roads and Gloomy Sunday repeatedly for days.
She has disappeared without a word about 6 months ago (which she is wont to do), and just re-appeared again recently, and she's been very receptive and nice to me.
The problem with our relationship is that, now and then she stings. The lyrics of this song describes my quandary.
According to itune, i've been listening to this song 205 times since yesterday's discovery.
2011-05-09 [06:17] Sleeves Rhode: better now? [06:17] Xah Toll: what u want? [06:17] Sleeves Rhode: I want know if you're better now [06:18] Xah Toll: not rly [06:18] Sleeves Rhode: why so upset? [06:19] Sleeves Rhode: if you hurry, you can dance with me [06:26] Sleeves Rhode: what you think you gain by acting like this? [06:35] Xah Toll: u abused me many times [06:36] Xah Toll: yesterday i put up a lot to trust u again [06:46] Sleeves Rhode: but you still want to be my friend. dunno why you love me so much, [06:49] Xah Toll: yeah sure friend, but then u needn't pull that partner promise shit [06:50] Xah Toll: and then tell me told flatly that you lied with smugness [06:51] Sleeves Rhode: you really torn up about that? [06:51] Xah Toll: thats really nasty, just as u made up that "you were a boy" story
You can see a picture of me and Sleeves in sl: Math in Second Life, page 2.
Here's Portishead's Roads.
Oh, can't anybody see, We've got a war to fight, Never found our way, Regardless of what they say. How can it feel, this wrong, From this moment, How can it feel, this wrong. Storm, In the morning light, I feel, No more can I say, Frozen to myself. I got nobody on my side, And surely that ain't right, Surely that ain't right.